I have had it with the idea that women don’t have as much of a sex drive as men – that’s simply not true!

I have met women with a drive that supersedes that of any man I’ve ever met and I’ve met women with no drive at all. If you’re anything like me, your drive varies depending on your mental state and also, whether you feel like it will hurt or not. I will discuss painful sex another day – today, I want to focus on sexual shame.

S E X is not a dirty, shameful word. It is in our primary instincts to experience sexual desire and we should never be shamed for that. Many women feel like they are going to be ‘slut shamed’ for giving into their urges – no girl, get yours!

As Amber Rose said in October 2018 – before you slut shame a woman…. “think about your mother, think about the act that it took to have you.”

Painful sex is common in women with reproductive illnesses and that can be off putting but also, because sexual satisfaction can be something we all crave as human beings, lack of that can also have an impact on your mental health.

How does sex impact mental health?

According to Here to Help…

Anxiety or depression can strongly affect arousal and can definitely ruin the mood sometimes. Anxiety and other related mental health struggles can make it hard to be relaxed enough to have or enjoy sex, overshadowing it with a host of worries or intrusive distractions. When we are very unwell and struggling just to function, sex is rarely at the top of our mind.

https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/couples-vol10/sex-intimacy-and-mental-well-being

But is this a vicious cycle? Can a lack of sexual satisfaction in our lives make our mental health lower?

Here is what Sex therapist, Sari Cooper told Reader’s Digest:

“When people have sex they’re usually having skin-to-skin contact, and this kind of contact is the first primal way we as humans get comforted. Sexual connection give partners loads of skin-to-skin caressing and touch, and can help to regulate one another’s moods,” generally through the release of the feel-good hormone Oxycontin. “

https://www.rd.com/health/wellness/not-having-sex/

Lack of sex alone will not cause clinical depression but it can be linked to low moods from a lack of physical contact but the longer sex is refrained from the less likely the body is to crave it, which is why many people who experience pain during sex and avoid sex out of fear of the pain will begin to stop craving it… but I will go into that in more detail at a later date.

The purpose of this post is not to encourage people to have sex more than they physically need or want. I merely want to get across the message that if you need it, no matter how much you need it, it’s still okay to give in to your desires.

You’re not a whore. You’re human.

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